I’ve been known to make snap decisions, and I actually just made another, that decision was inspired of course. I love watching Casey Neistat (He’s a well know YouTube Vlogger) and he just restarted his daily Vlog. I am going to commit to writing on my Blog once a day for a year. There are no rules on what I am going to write about or how much I am going to write. In the past, I have inundated my facebook with long diatribes on political views, life and what not. I think it’s time to move that to my Blog. An interesting fact is, I have a blog, it’s all been setup, why haven’t I been using it? Heh, welcome to my world.
Today is March 27th, I am currently finishing my first year in college, and I have received my final grades for this last term. When I started college I was extremely concerned about maintaining a 3.0 GPA required by the VA Voc Rehab program that I am in, I am still concerned about it. The reason is because during high school I was a D student. There are many reasons why I was a D student. When I was growing up my life was filled with the typical archetypes. The over expecting father, strict narcissistic stepmother, the well-intentioned loving mother, grandparents of the old ways both the devoutly religious and smoking gambling type. I won’t say my childhood was hard, but it definitely wasn’t easy on me or my parents. There are some things that I know did happen and other things I suspect happened, that I believe play a direct role in my behavior as a child. I was going, to begin with, “School was always hard for me” but honestly, it wasn’t until about third grade. (I know, wow 2 years) that I began to lose grip on my behavior. I think back on it now and it’s all so clear. I was that kid who was spanked in school, hard to control, who acted out. Did I mention I’m 47 now? Back then ADD wasn’t really well known, but neither were the effects of other outside factors on children’s behavior. I know now I wasn’t a bad kid, and I do not hold a grudge against my parents or my school for what they did to me. They didn’t know what they were doing was not the way I learned, they were doing what they thought was best. It has taken me a long time to recover from my childhood to realize I am a smart intelligent man. I am still not confident I am that man. Though my current grades are beginning to support that narrative in my mind.
After 1 year of college, I have achieved straight A’s, I currently hold a 4.0 GPA. When I say those words I think I am talking about somebody else. I try very hard to be proud of myself, but throughout my life the second I let my guard down, the second I make plans on what I believe is definite, it all comes crumbling down. Though I have maintained a 4.0 GPA over my first year, I know what those A’s are behind the scenes. I know that the A for math was a 91%, I just barely eeked by. I have set a mental barrier for myself between an A and a B. The low bar for me isn’t a D, the low bar is a B to me. A “B” is a failure, the only real grade I operate in is 90 through 100. I’ll admit this is a bar that I have set for myself, it isn’t something I have constructed myself. I mentioned earlier a 3.0 GPA is required by the program that is putting me through college. Though my mindset is completely my own. My mindset is that I won’t allow myself to let this opportunity slip through my fingers.
No matter your past, your future is yours, you can decide to make it what you want it to be. I have decided to make my life a success by seizing on the opportunity that has been handed to me.